Yes, this weekend is Easter and of course I am going to start with an appropriate joke! Sadly, a man was driving down the road when a bunny hopped across the road. The man couldn’t stop so hit the bunny head on. He jumped out of his car, goes over to look at the bunny , only to realize it was the Easter Bunny. He started sobbing when a woman in a red convertible pulled up. She asked what the problem was. Sobbing, the man said, I have run over the Easter Bunny and now there will be no one to deliver eggs on Easter. The woman ran back to her car and quickly returned carrying a spray bottle. She ran over to the motionless bunny and sprayed it. The bunny immediately sprang up, ran into the woods and waved goodbye to the man and woman. It ran around and around, returned to the man and woman until finally it went into the woods. The man then asked: “What is that stuff in that bottle?” The woman replied: It’s harespray!! It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave!!”
Now for some brief smiles and LOL’s from signs outside a Community Center. **”I’m going to start collecting highlighters, Mark my Words! **What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi! **At a meeting of Plastic Surgery anonymous. Tonight, hope we don’t see any new faces! **I never really finished anything! I have a black belt in Partial Arts. **I pulled a muscle digging for gold. It’s just a miner injury. ** When you said life would get back to normal after June. Julyed!! …and the grande finale. **Monsters don’t like to eat ghosts because they taste like sheet!
During a conversation, the CEO got upset with a new office employee who just would not stop talking, trying very hard to impress the CEO. Finally, after a heated conversation, the employee looked concerned. The CEO then said: “sorry Bill, I didn’t mean to push all your buttons. I was just trying to hit ‘MUTE’….
My elderly neighbor approached me with a big smile, holding up her hand and said: “ I got myself a Senior GPS! Not only does it tell me how to get to my destinations, it tells me why I wanted to go there!
6th grade teacher posed the following problem to one of her math classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves 10 million dollars! One-fifth is to go to his wife; 1/5 to his son, 1/6 to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get? After a long silence, a boy raises his hand and with sincerity in his voice says: “A Lawyer!!!” Getting near closing time, so I will end with a couple more diner signs:
**Outside a diner parking area: “If vegetarians eat veggies, what do humanitarians eat? ** Taco Bell sign says: “Free Tacos yesterday!!. **One more outside a Taco Bell drive thru area: FREE TACOS YESTERDAY!! …and the grande finale sign for Taco Bell…”CLOSED…We’re out of meet.
Yep, that is their misspelling, not mine! BE WELL!! WEAR DA MASKS……Aloha…a hui hou